Do you believe that you're self-centred? Or are you reading this to reassure yourself that you're not? Because we all know that being self-centred is bad Authentic Jeff Carter Jersey , right? Not that we've established exactly what we think the term means. Maybe we don't even share the same definition.
Maybe, it's the 'self? part that triggers our value judgement. It's like a trainer on a course I attended recently, who said that self-love made people unpleasant, even damaging, to be around.
When I challenged her, she admitted that people who truly loved themselves first would be loving and supportive towards other people Authentic Tyler Toffoli Jersey , whereas self-obsessed people behave in a thoughtless, careless fashion. She'd just used the phrase 'self-love? as a convenient shorthand.
It's the 'self? word that tends to provoke the knee-jerk reaction. We treat 'self? in combination with any other word as a synonym of selfish ? and we all know, from childhood on, that selfishness is a mortal sin.
So self-centredness must be a deplorable shortcoming too, mustn't it? Actually, it depends.
If a person truly believes that he Authentic Tanner Pearson Jersey , or she, is the centre of the entire universe and treats everyone else as peripheral, insignificant beings, then, yes, that is pretty deplorable.
But if a person places themselves at the centre of their own world that is a very different matter.
Where else should they be Authentic Nate Thompson Jersey , after all? If they don't fill the space at the centre of their world, someone else will just muscle in and fill it for them. Someone else, in other words, will colonise their centre.
We've all seen it done often enough; all come across those generous, shadowy creatures who spend their whole life falling over themselves for the other people who shamelessly colonise their centre. They meet with precious little appreciation for all the effort they expend.
The technical term for these people is 'doormats?. They end up being self-sacrificing (there's much less of a stigma attached to that phrase) whether they want to or not, because they can't help themselves.
On the other hand Authentic Derek Forbort Jersey , the people who honour their own self, by setting it at the centre of their world, enjoy personal empowerment. They can set the boundaries around their self and their world as close, or as far away, from their centre as they see fit at any given moment.
Their world is spacious enough to incorporate anyone they choose. And because they are in a state of empowerment they can honour all those whom they share their world with, even as they honour themselves.
My definition of healthy self-centredness is that it is the precondition of a respectful relationship between adults. It is not to be confused with the infantile clamouring for attention and instant satisfaction of every need Authentic Alex Iafallo Jersey , however unreasonable.
Mature self-centredness is about creating win-win situations.
When you start to look at it that way, I wonder, how self-centred are you really? And how self-centred do you want to be?
Can you see your way to making it your New Year's resolution for 2006 to become more self-centred?
(C) 2005 Annie Kaszina
A futon cover is one of the essential elements of a futon bed. Though it is meant to be primarily decorative, it is also the component of the futon which protects the mattress from dirt, spills and other agents which may wear out the futon.
When buying a futon cover for a futon bed or mattress, there are a few things you need to watch out for. Your first task should be measuring the length Authentic Ilya Kovalchuk Jersey , width, and thickness of the futon. Futon mattresses come in sizes such as Full, (54" X 75"), and Queen, (60" X 80"). Thickness is usually between 4" to 5", 6" to 8" Authentic Adrian Kempe Jersey , or 9" to 10". So know the right dimensions of your futon before ordering the cover.
The fabric and design is important if you are going to place your futon in a conspicuous area of the house. However, you don't have to spend a fortune because of it. For example, Piping or Welting is a bead of the same, or a coordinating fabric that goes around the edges of the futon cover to give it a more finished and formal look. This can be expensive so only consider buying such a design if you can afford it. Futon covers usually cost between $30 to $150 or more, so decide on a price that fits in your budget.
It is also helpful to get futon covers fitted with zippers (many of them have three sided zippers) since this makes it more convenient to put on, and remove the cover for cleaning or changing.
Types of Futon Covers:
Print All Over: The print on these futon covers is on the top Authentic Oscar Fantenberg Jersey , the edges, and the bottom of the cover. The futon mattress with this type of cover can be flipped, and rotated without turning the futon cover.
Print Top or Inlay: The top side of the futon cover is the print. The sides and the back are of coordinating fabric. Print or Inlay futon covers can be flipped and use pillows with the same print.
Solid Back or Inlay: With this type of futon covers, the print is on the top, the edges, with a solid color on the back panel. The only difference between the Print Top and Solid Back is that in the Solid Back cover Authentic Jake Muzzin Jersey , the solid fabric would be the top, and the print would be everywhere else.
Window Pane or Window Panel: The print is only on the top without covering the whole top. The back and edges are of solid color, and there is about a 10" border on each side. The fabric is only 54" wide and the stripes needed to be vertical with this type of futon cover.
End Cap or Window Panel 2 Sides: This futon cover's only difference with Window pane type is that the print wraps all the way around the top, back, front and rear edges of the futon cover.
A-Frames or Love Seat: This futon cover is customizable so you need to specify the type of print you want before ordering it.